http://bit.ly/qjVlRY

Half-time quotes from your favourite Victorians:
Jonny Mac: "Should Barton want to make peace with Newcastle, he could approach the visiting Manager after the game paraphrasing Admiral Nelson with 'Kiss me Pardy'."
Hugh Collins (not strictly a Victorian but he was nice enough to email in: "I've always wanted to meet a Victorian. I've eaten so many of their sponge cakes, I feel I should at least thank them. Snap!"
Half-time: QPR have had two shots cleared off the line and around 86 shots on target but still haven't managed to score. Barton has been relatively quiet, completely overshadowed by the brilliant Taarabt.
45 min +3: QPR go for one final attack this half, Taarabt finds Barton in the area but he can't find enough space.
45 min: Three minutes of added time.
44 min: Free-kick from Barton, Bothroyd prods wide. He's missed a few good chances. "Re Chris (35 min)," says Tim Smith. "Surprisingly, modern American Victorians do go in for premarital sex – see Bristol Palin."
43 min: Simpson's cross goes over the heads of its intended target, he's sure Ferdinand touched it but Phil Dowd says it's a goal kick.
41 min: QPR look like a top-10 side on the evidence of the first 40 minutes. Shame their finishing has been of a much, much lower standard.
39 min: Yep, Best is back on. SWP is released again, he crosses again and the ball is cleared off the line again. It was Taarabt who set SPW up, he's been brilliant tonight.
37 min: Best receives treatment but he should be OK to continue. Allan Barless has a quote for us: "'I don't know much about football. I know what a goal is, which is surely the main thing about football'. It's Victoria Beckham … does that qualify?" Yes, yes it does.
35 min: SWP gets excited after some crisp passing on the edge of the Newcastle area and attempts to play a team-mate in with a backheel. There's no team-mate there though and Newcastle clear. "Re: Tim asking who the Victorians were," writes Chris Longwell. "They were a God-fearing people with a taste for foreign military wars and a distaste for pre-marital sex. I imagine Tim can find a few in certain states in America."
32 min: Simpson needs to be on guard again as a sweeping ball from Bothroyd nearly finds Taarabt. The Sky microphone is very near someone in the crowd with a sweary mouth. What would the Victorians say. "I believe there are currently 5.5 million live Victorians, most of them in Australia," writes Roderick Stewart.
29 min: It was Simpson with the clearance on the line by the way. "Thomas Carlyle's 'No man lives without jostling and being jostled; in all ways he has to elbow himself through the world, giving and receiving offence' seems appropriate for Joey Barton," says Julian Borrill.
28 min: QPR crash a shot over the bar, they've been excellent tonight until they've actually had to put the ball into the net. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the new Arsenal. Oh, Newcastle clear a shot over the line. This could have been 3-0 by now.
25 min: For a team with five or so debutants, QPR have been the more coherent team. "This is Tim from the USA! USA! USA!," says Tim Smith from the USA! USA! USA! "Can you help us by reminding us who the Victorians are? Is that like a neighborhood in London? Or a political party?"
22 min: Taarabt releases SWP after a brilliant spin-and-nutmeg, the cross flashes a cross across the box, which Bothroyd just misses. Jonny Mac channels Capt Kirk for a bit of advice for Joey. I realise he's not Victorian: "One of the advantages of being Captain is being able to ask for advice without necessarily taking it."
19 min: Neil Warnock is unhappy about something but he looks happy about being unhappy about it. Coloccini has to get in quickly to clear a ball into the box. "Re: 109-year-olds emailing in," says Damian Wims. "I doubt Pippo Inzaghi will be following your MBM, with all due respect."
16 min: SWP is having a very bright start. A long, raking ball releases him and he shoots early forcing Krul into a sharp save.
15 min: SWP sends an excellent cross in to Bothroyd, he has to adjust slightly as he volleys it and the ball flashes over from eight yards out.
14 min: The corner resulting from Kenny's save is in the bottom 3% of corners ever taken, including ones in the playground at lunchtime.
12 min: Bets turns brilliantly and unleashes a shot that Kenny does very well to turn round the post. John Kelly has out first Dead Victorian quote of the night. "It takes two flints to make a fire – Louisa May Alcott." Although she was American, I don't know if you have to be British to be a Victorian.
10 min: "Re: Dead Victorians (1 min)," says Chris Longwell. "A Victorian could still be alive as long as they were 109 or so." I imagine one of them will email in before too long, they won't have much else to do tonight. Shaun Wright-Phillips has a good chance with a header but the outcome is as much as you might expect from a five-footer who hasn't started a game since 1963.
7 min: It's a windy night in London and a long ball swirls in the air before Paddy Kenny leaps to claim it.
5 min: Free-kick for QPR to the right of the area, the central defenders rumble up looking for a header but it's poorly hit and flies over the heads of both teams. Taarabt then has a shot from distance but it's straight at Krul
3 min: QPR intercept a loose Newcastle pass and hang around the opposition area before losing interest, and possession. "Barton as Captain? Genius - think Keane at Man Utd," says Harvey Kelly. "Although Capt. Barton sounds like someone in WWI who was two busy writing poetry to go and stick it to the Germans." His haircut is a very world war one haircut too, don't you think?
1 min: And we're off. In the absence of Joey Barton on Twitter, who's playing a football match tonight apparently, we don't have a clever quote from a dead Victorian (is there any other kind?) to sum up tonight game, but please do provide your own if you have one. The Newcastle fans gave Joey a very good reception.
7.54pm: New QPR owner Tony Fernandes is waving at the crowd, although he looks like he's got a piece of celery sticking out of his pocket (no doubt that's some charity emblem that I've managed to gravely insult). On the TV Gary Neville is analysing the QPR tunnel, it's smaller than the average tunnel apparently, which makes Loftus Road a tough place to go to. Not that hard for Bolton a couple of weeks back, mind.
7.50pm: So, Neil Warnock has made Joey Barton captain, a classic piece of upyoursmanship from one of the league's most passive managers:
QPR: Kenny, Young, Ferdinand, Gabbidon, Traore, Barton, Derry, Faurlin, Wright-Phillips, Bothroyd, Taarabt. Subs: Murphy, Hall, Campbell, Buzsaky, Connolly, Smith, Puncheon.
Newcastle: Krul, Simpson, Steven Taylor, Coloccini, Ryan Taylor, Obertan, Cabaye, Tiote, Gutierrez, Best, Shola Ameobi. Subs: Elliot, Santon, Guthrie, Lovenkrands, Ba, Marveaux, Sammy Ameobi, £35m not being spent on strikers, look at it just sitting there.Referee: Phil Dowd (Staffordshire)
Tom will be here with coverage of QPR v Newcastle from 7.45pm or so. In the meantime here's a wee preview from Jamie Jackson:
Tony Fernandes's first home match as the QPR owner should prove a humdinger. Under the Loftus Road lights, and in front of the live TV cameras, Joey Barton makes his bow for Neil Warnock's side against his former club, Newcastle United. While his acrimonious departure from St James' Park provides a spicy sideshow, both managers will want to get on with accruing points.
Alan Pardew has overcome being unable to reinvest most of the £35m yielded from Andy Carroll's sale on a replacement striker to take an impressive seven points from three games, while Warnock's tally is three. Each would be content with a draw.
Match pointers
• Newcastle are unbeaten in their last four meetings with Queens Park Rangers, winning three of those games
• QPR are without a win in their last five matches at home in all competitions
• Steven Taylor has made more blocks than any other player in the Premier League this season with seven
• No player has had more shots on goal without scoring than Adel Taarabt – 14
• This is Newcastle's best start to a season since 1995, when they ended up finishing the campaign second to Manchester United